So, what?  It’s only been 6 weeks since I posted anything…
I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how they get burned out on blogging and they feel like the need a break.  A “blogatical” if you will.  Then they come back and they have all of these profound things that GOD taught them on their break.  And, they have a new passion for what they’re writing.  So, they plan it.

This is not one of those situations.

If I’m honest with you, which I really try to be with everything that gets put up here, I’ve been burned out on everyday life for a while.  We have had a CRAZY last 6 months in the Towle household.  Angie is working on her Masters in Library Science (I keep telling her when she’s done I’m going to sing her My Morning Jacket’s “Librarian” when she’s done), Isaac has gone crazy mobile, and personally, I just came through 15 of the most spiritually grueling weeks of worship leading I’ve had in my 7 years of church work.

In February & March at Crosspoint, we did a 7 week study on the Holy Spirit using Francis Chan’s “Forgotten God” as a starting point.  While a GREAT thing for our young group of Christ-followers (young in following), it’s a lot to digest.  We’re still hearing stories about people following nudgings and promptings like they never have before.  Truthfully, it’s one of the most rewarding things as a church worker to hear those continued stories.  So, then we got CRAZY.  We’re in process of moving out of renting our school that we currently call home within the next 18 months.  To do so, we had a come together in partnership with our crowd in a building “campaign.”  I say “campaign” because it totally wasn’t that.  The 8 weeks of this spiritual growth focused pledge drive following the 7 weeks focusing on hearing the Holy Spirit in our lives were some of the deepest weeks that we’ve had at Crosspoint in it’s short three year history.  But, it was EXHAUSTING.  Then week 16 turned to an open baptism where we removed all possible barriers for anyone feeling led to jump up and be baptized.  8 declarations were made that day by people feel moved in the moment and watching it all happen right in front of me while leading worship was heart melting.

Then I had to push through for 3 weeks to get to vacation.  Three of the longest weeks of my life.  Just because the previous 16 had been so challenging that it wore me out.  All in all, 16 weeks (I know I said 15 before, but the 16th baptism was kind of emotional too) of emotional.  And, I was tired.

So, this past Sunday was my first weekend back in the saddle.  Sitting in my seat in the “bullpen” during the teaching first service, I had this moment where it hit me.  This is what I get to do for my job!  I make art, music, and lead worship for a living!  Holy sh*t!  This is awesome!

I hadn’t felt that in a while.  That feeling of being exactly where I needed to be.  But also it was a little deeper than that… and I didn’t realize it until later Sunday evening.  We had just put Isaac to bed for the night and sat down to watch some mindless TV before we went to bed.  The morning’s topics, songs, videos and interviews had peppered our conversation as they typically do on Sundays.  As we took out typical spots on our hand-me-down, breaking down, yet extremely comfortable reclining love seat I said, “Today was the first time in a while that I felt like I led worship from a good place.”  Sunday I felt the overflow of the Spirit moving in what we experienced.  I felt used.  And, I felt alive.  I wasn’t blogged down in the details of the loops I created or botching the beginning of a solo second service. It was just me and GOD time… and a couple hundred other people.

After a week’s vacation spread out over 2 weeks, some early to bed nights, one morning of sleeping in until whenever we wanted, and some time away, I had finally found some rest.

A reminder that I need it more frequently, sure.
But, ultimately a reminder of why I do what I do and for WHOM it is done.

I guess my unplanned “blogatical” worked.
I’m back.
And, I found more to write about.

+PJ